Monday, 17 September 2012

What to Do When Your Husband Is Bored With You

What to Do When Your Husband Is Bored With You

By Gillian Reynolds

You'd be hard pressed to find a married couple who would readily admit that they have the ideal relationship. Marriage isn't always a walk in the park. Sometimes, a fair amount of hard work is involved. It's obviously easy to throw in the towel when things get rough, but any couple who deeply loves one another isn't going to do that. As a woman, you may feel like walking away when you realize that your husband doesn't find you as attractive, appealing or as exciting as he once did. You work hard to be the best balance of wife, mom and friend that you can be. Knowing the man you love finds you boring can be both frustrating and disheartening. There's no time like the present to show him that you still have some spontaneity in you.

Make Some Self Improvements for You

Sometimes a husband will become bored with his wife because she's bored with herself. If you follow the same mundane routine day-after-day and you've lost your interest in trying anything new, your husband may start to see you as uninteresting. He obviously didn't feel that way when you two met, fell in love and married.

If you do indeed feel as though the spark has left you, it may be time to rediscover that part of yourself. Many women fall into a rut when they marry and become mothers. They put everyone else's needs in front of their own and that inevitably results in them losing their own sense of identity. The result can be a woman who is not only unsatisfied with herself, but also frustrated with where her life is.

You can change all of that by embracing the woman you want to be again. If you gave up your career to become a full-time mom, now may be the right time to consider going back to work on a part-time basis or even spending a few hours a week volunteering.

The moment you step outside the box you've been stuck in, you'll become that much more interesting and intriguing to your husband as well. It's hard not to put your family first, but it's also imperative for you to nurture who you are. By finding your new passion in life you'll soon discover that your husband will find you as appealing as he did the day you two first met.

Plan Something Unexpected Today

The idea of thinking up new things to do in a stale marriage may feel like a lot of work, but it doesn't have to. Even trying something as simple as cooking something completely unexpected for dinner will shift your husband's opinion of you almost instantly. If you'd rather not put in the effort to dream up a new dish, gather the ingredients and sweat the afternoon away in the kitchen, why not make a reservation at an exotic restaurant? Lay your husband's best suit on the bed and get dressed to the nines before he arrives home. In this scenario you tell him to quickly shower and change and you're off for an exciting and impulsive dinner date. You'll be the one sweeping him off his feet.

If your husband is a big fan of sports and you've always hidden away in another room while he's cheered his favorite team on, now may be the time to jump into the sport with him. Buy tickets to the next home game for his team and join him in the stands or on the sidelines. He won't be expecting this at all and he's going to be touched that you've suddenly taken an interest in something he absolutely adores.

Reconnect with Your Husband as a Couple

Your husband may see you as a boring partner, because he's associating more closely with you as the mother of his children, than his lover and romantic equal. You have to get him to shift his mindset so he sees you as a woman who can effortlessly fulfill all of those roles and more.

Couple time in a marriage is very important and many wives and husbands just don't recognize that. They think if they spend time with each other as well as the children that they are engaging in quality time as a family. That's true but there's a lot to be said for quality time as a couple also.

You don't have to invest in any expensive dates to make this happen. You do have to invest your time, energy and imagination though. Plan moments for just you and your husband to spend together. Share a relaxing glass of wine at the end of the day after the children have gone to bed, or take turns making each other breakfast in bed on the weekends.

You really want to show your husband that you're just as much his wife as a mother. If he can see you in the renewed role as his romantic life partner, you're instantly going to ensure that he sees you in a new light as a dynamic and vibrant woman.

Crawling out of a negative place within a marriage can be difficult and showing your husband that you're far from boring may be a challenge. However, a happier marriage in which you're respected and your needs are fulfilled is worth any effort you have to make.

Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.

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