A Fresh Start for Dads - Taking Action in 2013

By Adam Houghton

Did you know that people who live an action oriented life do things in a different manner? Unlike 'normal' people, they are truly passionate about what they are doing and they will do whatever it takes because they want it bad. They want it so bad that they can't sleep at night until they achieve it.

Imagine that you are a teenage boy. You have met your first love and you want her so bad. If your mom or dad told you that you cannot leave the house, what would you do if you really want to see her? Would you sneak out at night? Would you climb out the window and slip away? You would do whatever it takes, right?

That's exactly the way action driven people do things!

Whether you identify with this or not, it remains a known fact that if you want to accomplish your goals, you have to adopt the following characteristics:

You have to believe in what you are doing:

No one would believe in you if you do not believe in yourself! If you don't have a firm belief in your mission, then who the heck is going to carry it out for you? They don't even know what your mission is! Like a rebellious teenager, you can't change them unless they truly want to change themselves!

You also have to develop a compelling desire to get things done:

Like the example above, having a compelling desire is very important because if you don't have a compelling desire, most of the time, you will go halfway and later on, 'no way' because you will lose your drive.

You must have a plan:

If you do not have an effective plan, you will fail after a while. Even with a strong belief and a compelling desire, you will still fall flat on your face and you will be confused because you want it so bad yet you can't get the results. A man without a plan is simply in dreamland.

You must do whatever it takes all the way...

You must have an iron will that is even stronger than Ironman's armor! What will you do when you feel down? Are you going to live in defeat? Stop whining and bitching and JUST DO IT! Remember every bit of positive action you take brings you closer to success, in the same way that every piece of non-action keeps you further away from what you want.

Adam Houghton has made it his life's mission to raise awareness of the great many opportunities out there that Dads from all walks of life can use to achieve a life of total time freedom. Visit http://www.moretimefordads.com to get a FREE copy of his latest eBook with valuable insights on how any hard working Dad can find more time to share with his family and re-connect with his passions and dreams.

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Things You Should Keep in Storage When You Have Small Children?

By Harry Pearce

In a home with small children, many items can be destroyed or damaged very quickly. With this in mind, parents use child-locks to lock cabinets and keep breakables in high places that are out of reach of small hands. Actions such as these are a great start but will not necessary protect your home completely. Many homes have very expensive furniture, family heirlooms that are irreplaceable and high priced electronics and other technical devices. If you want to protect these items, you might want to look into another option. If your home does not have adequate storage like many homes of young couples with small children, you might want to consider investing in a storage unit until your children are a little older.

Although professional storage may be expensive, it might help you save some money in the long run. Replacing those elegant living room sofas after your two year old practiced writing her name in her favourite colour of your lipstick gets quite expensive as well. What about that 150 year old china set that was passed down through five generations? Maybe you have it stored in a protective cabinet but what happens when your child climbs your protective cabinet and knocks it down or even worse, learns to open it? What about that 60" 3-D television that is your husband's pride and joy? He will probably not enjoy the picture as much after your toddler uses the screen as a drag strip for his hot wheels cars.

Life before becoming a parent might have involved a boating or canoeing hobby, skiing or even surfing. Whatever your passions were it might be a very long time before you are able to freely rekindle your love for writing your own music or whatever else it was. Children also have their own massive list of essentials, they will take over the house and keeping your items safe and secure is as important as having a bit of space in your home.

Normally, a storage unit costs between 50 and 75 pounds a month depending on a few factors. Size, amenities and duration of rental are some factors that determine your exact price. Professional storage is often gated, secure and climate controlled. Your items will be safe while you move them away from your home until your little ones get a little bigger. One year of self-storage will protect your prized possessions for many years to come.

Before you let your toddler take charge of your home, it is the time for you as a parent to stay a step ahead of your child. Move all important, irreplaceable items into storage as soon as your child is able to walk if not sooner. Children are very creative and sneaky at times. You may think you can watch your child 24 hours of the day but the truth is that this is basically impossible. A five minute restroom break or a quick nap for mom can lead to a big, time consuming mess in a home so get your home ready before Junior comes along because it is doubtful you will have much time once your little one arrives.

Harry is a internet consultant who now writes on a freelance basis for several companies in the UK. If you are looking for any london self storage units or need any storage facilities for either business or personal use then contact ABC Selfstorage.

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Holiday Maps - For Partners With Different Traditions

By Dr. Benna Sherman

For most people, holiday celebrations and rituals follow the traditions of their family of origin. And, for many people, that has a lovely comforting quality to it, as this holiday looks remarkably like the ones that preceded it. But what happens when two people from different families come together to make their own new family?

Sandy and Nick were approaching their first Christmas together.

As soon as the Thanksgiving meal had been cleared away, Sandy ran to the closet and dragged out her box of ornaments and the sparkly silver aluminum tree on which to hang them. Nick looked up from his newspaper to see her carefully balancing the smaller box with the ornaments on the bigger box that held the tree.

"What are you doing? It's still officially Thanksgiving. You can't put up a Christmas tree yet."

"What do you mean? The turkey's history. This is officially the start of the Christmas season."

"It is NOT. The Christmas season starts when we countdown the Twelve Days of Christmas, just like the song."

"I'm not waiting. I love every single minute of this time of year. Now come help me assemble the tree."

"Help you... 'assemble'... the tree? Christmas trees aren't assembled; they're grown. We'll go to the Christmas tree farm the weekend before Christmas and cut our own."

"Suddenly you're a lumberjack? Don't be silly. Real trees drop their pointy little, toe-pricking needles all over the carpet; and you end up picking them out of the carpet until Easter. No way."

"Well, no way you're going to put up that stupid Jetsons version of a tree. It doesn't even smell like a Christmas tree."

"Don't worry; you'll love how it looks once I put up all the ornaments. They're all crystal. The effect is all magically sparkly, like a fairy Christmas tree."

"They're all crystal? But our tree always has keepsake ornaments and decorations on it. My mom gave me a box of stuff that's always on our tree. I even have the first popcorn garland that I ever made and the first pinecone ornaments."

"You want to put popcorn and pinecones on my fairy tree? But it will totally spoil the effect!"

Her lip was quivering. His jaw was set.

She went into the kitchen and made a cup of tea, sniffling back the unshed tears. He went to the garage and started bagging the Thanksgiving trash, using more than the minimum necessary force to compact the bags.

Each of them having taken a therapeutic time-out, they were both ready to re-enter the arena. Demonstrating the synchrony that they'd always enjoyed about their relationship, they entered the living room at the same time, albeit from different directions. That made them smile.

"Sandy, we're a family now. It's not about my traditions or your traditions. It's about making our traditions."

"Nick, I know that not everybody does everything the same way. I've just always considered the alternatives, well, wrong."

"I understand that. When you brought out your sparkly tree, all I could think about was how wrong the whole idea was. I think I need the smell of pine. It smells like Christmas."

"Yeah, I get that. I always loved that my Grandma Tucker's house smelled like pine. Her tree always looked like a real bird might be living in it."

"My Aunt Doris always had a tree that was decorated with crystal ornaments. I thought it was magical and that if I listened really hard, I'd be able to hear the crystal sing."

"Can't we have magic AND Christmas smell? Nick, can we have it all?" Her eyes were dancing and she was getting so excited that she could barely stand still. He was captivated by her excitement.

"Why not? I want the magic of Aunt Doris's crystal tree; you want the smell of Grandma Tucker's house. I want you to have what you want; and I know that you want me to have what's important to me. Let's start figuring out what we each want and start building our own Christmas map-a map to our very own holiday tradition."

"But how do we really do that?"

"Well, for starters, we'll have two trees. We can put your fairy tree here in front of the window, decorated only with crystal ornaments; and we can set up a 'real' tree on the tile in the family room, where it's super easy to sweep up the needles. I'll hang the popcorn and pinecones on that one."

"Nick, you are a genius!" She hugged him hard. Then she frowned as she considered some of the details on which she realized they might differ, like when to open presents, when to go to church, whether Christmas dinner was ham or turkey, or, she thought with horror, goose!

"Nick, this is really going to take work. There are a thousand details to holidays. We can't just have two of everything."

"I know; but I figure if we talk about everything and stay focused on making a tradition that works for both of us, we'll manage. What good is a Christmas that only works for one of us? We'll make holiday traditions that are about us, our family. And then our kids can think that it's the only right way to do Christmas."

Dr. Benna Sherman has been a Licensed Psychologist in private practice in Severna Park, Maryland, for over 20 years. She has a specialty in Marriage/Relationship Counseling and writes a biweekly newspaper column on relationships. Her book, "How to Get and Give Love - Relationship Maps", is now available on Amazon.com in both paperback and Kindle. Learn more about Dr. Sherman, subscribe to her free newsletter, and read more of her articles at http://DrBennaSherman.com.

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5 Things Every Parent Needs to Know Before Having Their First Child

By Jennifer Dobson

Deciding to adopt a pet is a big deal. Deciding to have a baby is a REALLY big deal. If you're thinking about having your first child, there's probably a lot more to consider than you think. While your new dog might only need a bowl full of kibble, a leash and a soft bed in which to sleep, a new baby -- and all his accessories -- will virtually take over the house. Of course, you probably won't mind much when you see her smile, take her first step or say her first word. Here are five things you must know before having your first child:

Know Your Finances -- Are you ready financially? Obviously, the more stable your family is financially, the less stressful it will be to add in costs for an extra member to feed and clothe. One way to evaluate how prepared you are financially is to pretend you already have your baby. For a month, or two, set aside the money that you would normally spend on baby-related items, such as diapers, wipes, formula if you won't be breastfeeding, clothing, doctor visits and childcare. When you're in the grocery store, go down the baby aisle, noting the prices of the necessities you would likely purchase on that trip. Once home, add up the total and set aside that amount of money out of your budget. One side benefit of doing this exercise is that you will have saved money that will give you a head-start once you need to buy those items for real.

Know Your Responsibilities -- Are you ready for the added responsibilities of a child? You might be surprised how many couples think they agree on the aspects of child-rearing, but find out after the fact that they don't. Who will be in charge of night feedings or diaper changes? How will household chores be split up once the baby arrives? Will you share the responsibilities of discipline evenly? How much outside help will you have? Are you prepared to give up space, time and money? Are there things you will want to do that you can't do with a child in tow? Will it matter to you if you no longer can do these things? Will you (or your spouse) continue working once the baby is born? If so, who will be responsible for child care?

Know Your Marriage -- While having a baby can bond two people like never before, that innocent little bundle can -- and will -- put a strain on your marriage like never before. Make sure you have a solid foundation first before you add to your family. If you aren't 100% committed to each other, a child will not fix that. Children have a way of illuminating the cracks in your relationship. While no relationship will ever be perfect, work on strengthening those weaknesses before you have a baby. It's true what they say: "The best gift a father (or mother) can give to his (her) children is to love their mother (father)."

Know Your Expectations -- Parenting is never what you think it will be. In some ways, it will be much more wonderful than you can ever imagine. The love you feel for your child, even at birth, is indescribable. Yet you will often feel exhausted, frustrated, burned-out, clueless and hurt. Your house will be messy, laundry will get behind, you're likely to wear spit-up stains to work at least once, time alone with your spouse will be but a distant memory and you'll constantly be buying diapers and wipes. So have a realistic perspective about what your life will be like once baby comes. Talk to other parents about their experiences. Volunteer to babysit for a friend if you have little or no experience with babies. The more prepared you are about what is to come, the less likely you will feel let down from unrealistic expectations.

Know Your "Why" -- It's easy to get "baby fever" when your best friend is expecting and gets all those cute, little clothes at her baby shower. But have you really thought about why you want to have a baby? There may be thousands of reasons to have a child, but they aren't all good ones. Only you can answer the "why," so it's important to be completely honest with yourself. Do you have your baby's best interests at heart? If you find that your "why" just isn't a good enough reason, take a breather then revisit the idea again in a few months. Once you can clearly see your "why" and feel great about the answer, then congratulations! You're going to be a great parent!

Buy right now at one of Jen's preferred online merchants for educators and parents, MPM School Supplies You'll be able to save on everything from christian rugs to classroom decorations and you'll have the chance to save ten percent on your 1st purchase!

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How To Get Your Child To Respect You

By Felicity Baker

It is something we all want and certainly is something we all deserve. As parents it is something we certainly expect from our kids. And honestly I have seen parents getting quite upset when they don't. But what if we are missing the most important piece of the puzzle. Something which could guarantee continual respect from your kids.

Have you seen a child or perhaps know one yourself who is respectful to certain adults all the time. Yet when they interact with another adult, respect seems to go out the door faster than you can say the word respect? Have you ever wondered if there is for a reason for it?

About a month ago I read a tweet from a teenage girl. As I was looking for something else, I managed to stumble across it. Within this particular tweet the teenage girl managed to put her finger on the problem and indeed the solution. Rather impressive for only 140 characters!

While I can't remember exactly what she said I do remember the gist of it. She asked a simple question: How can my parents expect me to respect them when they don't stop yelling at me?

You may be thinking "typical teenager". While I have no idea what her relationship with her parents is like, there is the key to getting your children and teenagers to respect you.

Respect is earned.

Put bluntly there is no way in heaven your children are going to respect you if you don't respect them first. You could be saying but I'm the parent they should, they must respect me, no matter what. Really? If every time your child makes a mistake, you start yelling at them, they won't respect you. Period.

A little while ago I was helping a grandparent who was furious with her grandson. You see he had called her a liar. But it didn't stop there, she also called him a liar. Who was right and who was wrong? Honestly it doesn't matter. From their own perspective each of them were right. The grandmother however was absolutely appalled to be called such a thing, even though she saw no problem with calling her grandchild one. Talk about double standards!

Our children and indeed our grandchildren can smell when someone is being fake or unauthentic a mile off. If you say one thing and then act in a different way they won't buy it. If you truly want your children and teenagers to respect you then it must start with respecting them first. They learn their patterns of behaviour and habits from us and that includes treating you and others with respect.

Of course we can't give respect unless we respect ourselves first. We can't give anything we don't have. So the big question is do you respect yourself? In my experience I have found when people respect themselves they truly respect others too. What a wonderful gift you can give your kids, for them to learn how to respect themselves.

So next time something happens, instead of yelling, swearing, hitting or anything else. Stop. Breathe. And ask yourself this simple question... how would I like to be treated in this situation. Then act from that. You will be amazed at what happens.

By the time your child gets to being a teenager, they will treat you the same way they are treated. So doesn't it make sense to start treating them with respect from the start?

Felicity Baker is a mindset expert, author and speaker who specialises in empowering children and the child within us all. Her website Joyful Horizons for Kids is the #1 Single Resource For Parents On Creating Strong and Positive Self-Esteem In Their Kids Today and In The Future. Felicity's "NO THEORY ONLY" philosophy means that everything she recommends has already been "tested" with her own children and the results are positive and proven. Felicity herself lived with clinical anxiety since she was aged 5. After 30 years of living with non-existent self-esteem and negative self-belief her own life was almost literally destroyed, when she found herself in a hospital emergency ward unable to swallow anything including her own saliva. She has lived on both sides of the fence and understands the importance of having high self-esteem and how it effects every area of our lives. Today she helps parents create a brighter future for their kids and help them create their own phenomenal family.

For a FREE Video Series on Building Your Child's Self-Esteem visit http://joyfulhorizonsforkids.com/freevideo

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The Effects of Violent Media on Children

By Felicity Baker

If you took yourself down to your local shopping mall and had a look around, you will see shops filled with violent video games, DVD's etc. Somehow it has become accepted as part of our society. There is nothing wrong with it, after all it's not real.

I remember speaking to some parents who took their 2 year old son to every movie they wanted to see (including violent ones). By their thinking, it was way over their child's head so it would have no affect on him. Or would it?

What you may not realise is that a child is unable to distinguish the difference between reality and fantasy until they are 8 or 9 years old. No matter how many times you tell them "it isn't real", they won't fully comprehend it and certainly won't accept it. Even if they tell you they do.

During these years our children's minds are like open valves taking everything in, processing it and forming beliefs from it. They are learning from every piece of information that enters their minds how to interact with others and of course themselves. The more they see violence they begin to tolerate it and even accept it as being normal.

Watching violent movies or playing violent games can also increase anxiety levels in a child. If they believe what they see, then they may start fearing for their own safety. They can start forming beliefs that will inhibit them from living a happy life; one they truly deserve.

So what about older children and teenagers? After all they are able to distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality so watching violent movies or playing violent games should be irrelevant shouldn't it?

Have you ever watched a movie and been disturbed or saddened by it? Even though you still understand that it is only fantasy, you are still affected by it. Why? Because your subconscious can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. That is why you are moved in such a way. Your subconscious believes what you are watching is actually true.

So imagine for a moment if your teenage son plays nothing but violent video games. Subconsciously they can't understand that it really isn't happening. Then of course you get what you focus on. The more you focus on violence the more there seems to be violence in the world. From a personal perspective this can mean a whole lot of things; perhaps with the person becoming more violent or even finding themselves in more violent situations.

Many parents today overlook the classifications of games and movies. There is one particular game that comes to mind that has a classification of MA 15+, which of course means it is not suitable for children under 15 years of age. In fact if you aren't 15 and over you can't even buy the game. I have seen the game played and the graphics are extremely real and particularly gruesome. (I can't understand why anyone would want to play it, but that's just me.) Yet I know children as young as 9 are playing it. As they can't buy the game themselves, I can only presume their parents have bought it for them.

While it may be true that once your teenagers reach 15+, we can't stop them from buying such games, we certainly can stop the amount of time they play on them. Then by flooding their focus on positive media we can tip the balance.

Just because everyone else does it, doesn't make it right. In my experience, children and teenagers who are happy and feel good about themselves are nurtured and given material to stimulate them; helping them to grow into being happy adults.

Felicity Baker is a mindset expert, author and speaker who specialises in empowering children and the child within us all. Her website Joyful Horizons for Kids is the #1 Single Resource For Parents On Creating Strong and Positive Self-Esteem In Their Kids Today and In The Future.

Felicity's "NO THEORY ONLY" philosophy means that everything she recommends has already been "tested" with her own children and the results are positive and proven. Today she helps parents create a brighter future for their kids and help them create their own phenomenal family.

For a FREE Video Series on Building Your Child's Self-Esteem visit http://joyfulhorizonsforkids.com/freevideo

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Why Our Kids Are Behind in Math and Science

By Patricia Oaklief

Did you know that our eighth grade students do worse in math than students in eight other countries and in science, ten countries? Even worse, as they get older, the scores decline even more. The U.S. has never been near the top and there are no signs this will be any different when our kids are tested next spring for the�Trends in International Math and Science Study.�

Our children's standard of living may decline

True, many of our kids will not choose to become scientists or mathematicians but these low scores will impact them regardless because jobs will be leaving the United States, and not just jobs in math and science but jobs in areas of our economy that are growing. As the talent accumulates abroad, U.S. companies will do more in those countries.�

"If the next great technological advances in energy, the environment, medicine, and information are made elsewhere, American workers will have a much tougher time earning good pay in those key industries, said Geoff Colvin in a recent �Fortune article. "The scariest part of it," says Roger Bybee in The Bent of Ta Beta Pi "is that our students have the highest aspirations, but we are near the lowest in terms of problem-solving skills. Our skills are not commensurate with aspirations."�

Our school curriculum - a mile long and inch deep, repeated year-after-year

The countries we compete with teach fewer ideas per grade. A typical U.S. eighth-grade math textbook deals with 35-50 topics. A Japanese or German math textbook, for example, has only five or six topics for that age.�

Skip Fennell, president of the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics and professor of education at McDaniel College in Maryland, says, "In my job, I get to hear the frustration of elementary classroom teachers around the country.� In 49 of 50 states, there are state curriculum frameworks, and their requirements are all over the place. They have 20 to 30- and sometime hundreds-of objectives. This sends a signal to a fourth-grade teacher who may not have a degree in math that all these 100 objectives are equally important. But they've never been equally important." ��

"If you look at U.S. textbooks, you'll find topics early and then they repeat them year after year,�according to the authors of an article in the American Educator. �"To make matters worse, very little depth is added each time the topic is addressed because each year we devote much of the time to reviewing the topic."

"I say this as a high school valedictorian, national merit scholar, soon-to-be PhD student. They are covering math and science I didn't see until my first and second years of college! I attended one of the best schools in the state and received one of the finest educations available, but I wouldn't be able to compete with the average high school student in a rural village in China," said a commentator in an online discussion at Education in Review.��

Right now there's a raging debate across the United States about increasing the length of our school year and amount of homework. Given our focus on 35-50 concepts for each grade versus the five to seven in all the other countries beating us in science and math, maybe the question should begin with not how much we're studying, but are we studying the right things.

For more information and links to article sources, see Amigram

Pat Oaklief is a co-owner of Amigram. com Life's Happy Announcements, a website for free online announcements including engagements, weddings, babies, pets, graduations, anniversaries, birthdays, businesses and promotions, and any fun or special announcement. Private or public, users can insert their personal message, photos, video, and space for visitor comments.

Share your happy news with friends and family. Visit http://www.amigram.com/ today.

Pat also writes the Amigram blog for mommas, nannas and families.

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3 Steps to Reversing Childhood Obesity

By Bonnie Hershey

Obesity in America has become an epidemic. That's no secret. Greater than 60% of Americans are overweight or obese, including 1 in 3 children.

The number of obese children in America has doubled in the last ten years alone. As a result, the incidence of Type 2 Diabetes is rising quickly among kids--a disease once labeled as an adult-only disease.

Should it surprise us that our children have become innocent victims to the sedentary lifestyle choices and poor nutritional habits of the adults around them?

What's A Parent To Do?

Step 1: Take A Long Hard Look In the Mirror
Reversing childhood obesity is impossible without first changing our own habits as parents. We are our child's biggest role model and teacher for the nutritional choices they make.

Our kids watch what we eat, how we spend our time, what sports we like--and from all of these, they learn what is most important.

Jamie Oliver, chef and food activist, says that, "Food skills are life skills." We have to be teaching our kids how to eat well, how to prepare food, so that they can grow up to live long, fulfilling lives.

So, the first step to helping your child with weight issues, is actually the hardest--to take personal responsibility for any bad habits or wrong thinking about food that they have learned from you.

Own it. Forgive yourself for any responsibility you had in their upbringing--whether due to ignorance or lack of self-discipline.

Commit to change things. Determine to carve a new path for yourself and your family by relearning some healthy eating habits. Seek outside help if you're not sure where to start.

Step 2: Apply Dr. Dungan's 5-2-1-0 Formula
Dr. David Dungan, Internist and Pediatrician, of Lombard, IL recommends the following daily formula to helping kids return to a healthy weight and even prevent childhood obesity issues.

• At least 5 servings of fruits & vegetables.
• 2 hours or less of screen time. This includes TV, computer, and video game time.
• At least 1 hour of physical activity. (i.e. organized sports, biking, swimming, playground time, etc.)
• Zero sweets and soft drinks.

Again, the only way your kids will follow this formula in your home, is if they see you adopting the same standards. Play with them, eat with them, and refrain from sweets with them.

Step 3: Rule Out Candida Albicans Overgrowth
Candida albicans is a common yeast that can grow out of control in the guts of our kids and can actually perpetuate weight gain issues. It can cause insatiable cravings for sugar and simple carbs.

With the increased use and misuse of prescription antibiotics and steroid treatments, candida can grow and wreak havoc on a child's health. It manifests itself in the form of seemingly unrelated health issues: allergies, eczema, frequent ear infections, digestive problems, etc.

We are seeing candida as a more and more common issue among the kids and families that we work with. It is worth getting this bacterial overgrowth in check and starting with a firm foundation of optimal bacterial balance.

Childhood obesity will not go away without family intervention. Parents cannot sit back, encourage their kids to eat healthier, and be downing a bag of chips. The change must start with us.

To find out more information and receive personalized health coaching for your family, visit our website: http://www.ProvenNutritionForKids.com

Download our free eBook, "The 6 Great Lies of The American Diet" to take the first step.

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http://EzineArticles.com/?3-Steps-to-Reversing-Childhood-Obesity&id=7269022

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What Parents Should Do For Children To Do Their Best After Divorce?

By Ruben Francia

Why do some children still do best after divorce and separation? Is there divorce parenting approaches that really work? Read and learn the divorce parenting approaches that really work.

Going through the process of divorce is a challenging life transition for both parents and children. During their parents' divorce, children often feel a wide variety of conflicting emotions. It is very important for parents to provide their children with understanding and support. Overall, the children who do best after divorce and separation are those whose parents dominantly employ 5 divorce parenting approaches. They:

1. Listen to children and nurture an independent and empathic relationship with each of them.
2. Fully support the children's relationships with the other parent making them feel loved and wanted in both homes.
3. Develop positive strategies for setting limits and imposing appropriate discipline.
4. Continue to hold reasonably high expectations for the children, regardless of trying circumstances.
5. Shield the children from their parental disagreements and resentments.

Each of the above is presented here below in great detail.

1. Listen to children and nurture an independent and empathic relationship with each of them.

To better help our children we must first understand them. To be able to understand them completely, we need to listen and create an environment favorable for them to speak out. To make things happen, you need to:

• Encourage your children to talk about how they feel. Let your children know that they can openly talk to you about their feelings of your separation or divorce.
• Keep lines of communication open and answer all questions about the changes. Make sure your children feels like they can ask you questions and get answers about why the divorce happened and what to expect.
• Convey that you are genuinely interested in their input. This will make your children feel they are participating in contributing to the process of recovering from the divorce.

2. Fully support the children's relationships with the other parent making them feel loved and wanted in both homes.

Research tells us that children benefit from keeping the familial ties in their life that were meaningful and important to them prior to the divorce. Of these familial ties, the most important are the child-parent ties. Remember that divorce does not end children's need for parents or it ends your role as parent. You should:

• Recognize that for your child to have the best chance of growing up to be a functional human male or female, he/she will need both parents as role models and nurturers. This means that there should be some pathway of getting through to the child whatever good that parent has to offer.
• Respect your child's needs to have both parents there for them, without having them worry that they are going to die of embarrassment if you both start to fight in public. Encourage the other parent to stay involved in the children's school and extra-curricular activities.
• Allow the children to enjoy the time that they spend with each parent. Encourage your children to spend good times with the other parent. Don't be jealous or upset, as children do not want to take sides and love one parent more than the other.
• Help your children and ex-spouse have a successful relationship as just as you would help your children to succeed in school or sports. Remember that your ex-spouse is an important part of your child's life. Just like you, your children have a shared history with this person as well as the present and future.

3. Develop positive strategies for setting limits and imposing appropriate discipline.

Often after a divorce parents will either become stricter or more lenient. Some parents feel like the other parent is letting the child get away with everything; therefore, they attempt to enforce discipline across both homes. Other parents do not want to spend the limited time they have with their child punishing them and tend to be too lenient. It can be difficult for children when their parents have drastically different rules and expectations. To give the child a sense of stability and security, you should do the following:

• Maintain consistent routines. Children feel more secure when there is a standard routine. At times, some parenting issues require communication and coordination between parents, if the child spends time with both parents. Both parents don't have to do things exactly the same way, but it is easier for children if most things are similar at each home.
• Set limits and rules clearly, and enforces them. But within these limits do allow leeway for your children to be children.

4. Continue to hold reasonably high expectations for the children, regardless of trying circumstances.

Help your children have positive feelings about themselves. Children who feel good about them usually succeed. They seem to get better grades in school, they are better at taking on hard jobs, and they try their best. Also, they tend to make better friends because they seem surer of themselves. As parents, you can play an important role in helping children have positive feelings about themselves. Here are some ways you can help your children to feel good about them.

• Help them learn to set realistic and reachable goals so they can regularly achieve success. Praise them for success.
• Give your children responsibility so that they feel useful, and valued. Asking nothing of them implies that you think they are not capable of doing a job well, which is demeaning.
• Encourage them to make decisions, and teach that they must accept responsibility for those decisions.

5. Shield the children from their parental disagreements and resentments.

Stop fighting and work hard to get along with each other. Rumbles of discontent between parents leave children feeling insecure. It is therefore so important for you and your partner to try to agree on matters related to children and their needs. You can employ strategies such as:

• Be able to step back and keep your feelings about your ex-spouse separate from those you have about your children's parent. Many people make lousy husbands or wives, but they are terrific parents.
• If you cannot be civil with your ex-spouse, then work out a plan and set up rules so that your child does not have to witness your wrath. Let your children feel with ease rather than going through a gauntlet of your venom for each other.
• Get to work on resolving your feelings about your ex-spouse. That means if you can't get over this yourself, get some help. Other people are suffering besides you, and those other people are your children!

Certainly, some children still do best after divorce and separation. All their parents did were employing tested divorce parenting approaches that really work. You can raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. Follow the above approaches for your children sake.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com; marketing@101divorceparenting.com

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Parent's Involvement in Children's Education

By Fawad Imam

ABSTRACT
The importance of parental involvement as an accelerating and motivating factor in their children’s education is a worldwide-accepted fact. This research project provides an in depth explanation along with specific reasons, the importance of parents’ involvement in their children’s education. It also discusses the parenting techniques, their types and their consequences if neglected. It also describes the ways to measure the outcome of the positive parental involvement. Furthermore, it mentions the teachers involvement and the difficulties faced by the teachers in getting parents involved in their children’s (this is further supported by the examples of two teachers who with their deliberate efforts won the parents over to devote their maximum attention towards their children), single-parent involvement, children’s own efforts to improve their academic levels and joint home-school based interventions. A detailed analysis of the different main ideas is given, based on the findings from other research surveys and projects.
INTRODUCTION:
Parental involvement can be seen to fall into three types: 1) Behavioral, 2) Intellectual and 3) Personal. The research explores the effect of multi-dimensional participation of parents and the resulting progress of children in their studies when different parental resources were dedicated to them. Actively participating parents help their children in their academic development by going to schools and participating in open houses. By keenly observing the behavior of their children they can rightly judge the kind of behavior or the allocation of resources required by their children. Such caring parents can also motivate teachers to become more attentive towards a particular student, thus maintaining the cycle of parent-teacher involvement. Encourage Building up cognitive and perception abilities in a child is a major concern in the upbringing of the child. The way the parents involve their children in cognitive learning is by exposing them to different cognitively stimulating activities and materials such as books, electronic media and current events at home. This helps the child to practice all sorts of language comprehending skills at the school. The results show a remarkably positive behavior at the school and with peers.
Two parenting processes namely the Supportive Parenting (SP) and Harsh Parenting (HP) helped a lot in the research of parental involvement in their children’s education. By adjusting the levels of supportive parenting, different levels of successful outcomes were observed. Supportive parenting in even kindergarten students yielded positive results. Four measures of supportive parenting were used in the study, they were:
1. Proactive teaching.
2. Calm discussion in disciplinary encounters.
3. Warmth.
4. Interest and involvement in peer activities.
The assessments were conducted when children entered kindergarten and when they reached grade 6. There was a factor noted to hinder children’s development: family adversity. It was the result of a multipurpose negative process that included the risk of low socio-economic status, single-parenting and family stress. Child maladjustments were found to be more common in families with such adversities. No matter how much negative impacts were cast, SP was found to overcome the risks associated with family adversity. SP was strongly related to adjustment procedures in grade 6 children who had single parent family or experienced low socio-economic status (SES) in their early childhood.
In a way to socialize their children, parents adopted the techniques of calm discussion and proactive teaching. They helped lessen the behavioral problems by carrying long discussions with their children, cultivating in them a sense of respect, calmness and peace of mind. Mothers also participated actively in reducing the peer stress among their children. It is also a widely accepted fact that supportive parenting plays an important role in the children’s development of empathy, prosocial behavior and emotional competence. On the negative side, the absence of supportive parenting may be related to the development of internal problems such as anxiety and depression.
Lack of the necessary parental care and attention is the main factor for the subsequent rise in the percentage of juvenile delinquency (crime among children). The absence of parental instructions causes children to develop irreversible behavioral and emotional problems. They in order to seek attention, resort to crimes thinking that in this way they could fulfill their wishes. They may revert to uncontrolled violence if not kept an eye upon. Such criminal activities cannot be brought to a halt until their distressing symptoms of low self-esteem, depression, dysphonic mood, tension and worries, and other disturbances are relieved. And the importance of parents’ role in this regard cannot be over-emphasized.
In an effort to describe parental involvement, many researchers use a term “Transition”(Lombardi, Joan). “Transition” is used to describe the time period in which children move from home to school, from school to after school activities, from one activity to another within a pre-school, or from pre-school to kindergarten. The untiring endeavors of teachers in the phenomenon of transition cannot be ignored. They prepared the children and their parents to face the problems of adjusting to elementary school programs that had different psychology, teaching styles and structure than the programs offered at the kindergarten level. In the elementary level schools the teachers had to face serious challenges in motivating the parents to take interest in their children’s activities. The teachers adopted different methods to involve the parents in day-to-day classroom and home activities. They used to send notes, invitation of parent-teacher meetings, invitation of parental guidance sessions and training sessions, continuously directing the parent’s attention towards their children. Patricia Brown Clark suggests that it is very important to keep the line of communication between teachers and parents open, so that the parents can interact with the teachers and get up to date information of their children’s school activities. One way to involve parents is to schedule school events and arranging classroom activities such as volunteering for libraries, acting as classroom aides or efficiently organizing lunch breaks. The teachers also opt for making phone calls at the children’s houses to keep in touch with the parents and getting to know the extent to which they are contributing towards the welfare of their children. Apart from the above activities, the teachers also assign home activities for both the parents and their children so that the parents remain indulged in their children and the children get to study at home. However, it was a bad and disappointing experience for the teachers when many of the parents failed to respond as expected. Many of the parents were so overwhelmed with their official work that they could hardly take out some time for their beloved children.
Moreover, for some parents their schoolings were not positive and character-boosting experiences, therefore they preferred to keep a distance from their children’s school as well. This made it really difficult and at times impossible for teachers to bring the parental involvement to the desired level. Nevertheless, the activities of two teachers proved greatly fruitful in making parents involved in their children. They were Carlos Valdez, an art teacher and 8th grade class sponsor, and Mike Hogan, the school’s band director. They did it by involving parents in music festivals and other school ceremonies. They proved to be great examples for the future teachers to come.
If the children’s academic development programs are to prove successful they must share two characteristics:
1) Developmentally appropriate practice:
A child’s academic progress is clearly reflected by the appropriate practice he/she administers while in school life. During transitions from pre-school to kindergarten, a child if given the exact developmentally appropriate practice tends to learn a great deal of language and playing skills. He develops a keen interest in exploring his environments and interacting (without hesitation) with his adults.
2) Supportive services:
These include the assistance that the school provides to low-income family students. The services include health care, childcare and community care. This strengthens the relation between school and children and creates a sense of security and confidence among the children. They get to learn that their communities are a part of their school since the school’s supportive services strive to help community development.
It is commonly believed that children are good self-teachers. Their self-initiated strategies help improve their expression, creativity, intellectual capabilities and extra-curricular skills. This idea is proved by the documentation of young children’s work provided by Reggio Emilia :
“The Reggio Emilia educators highlight young children’s amazing capabilities and indicate that it is through the unity of thinking and feeling that young children can explore their world, represent their ideas, and communicate with others at their highest level.”(Edwards, Pope. C, Springate, Wright.K)
The climax rests in the fact that how the parents would know that their sincere involvements are really proving worthwhile for their children. The answer lies in the attitude of the children. The degree of parental involvement can be judged by a child’s attitude towards his school subjects, his academic desires and achievements. There is a direct relationship between academic achievements and the attitude towards school. Schunk in 1981 had the following idea of aspiration or academic desires:
“Level of aspiration is defined as one’s subjective probability that he or she will reach a certain level of education.”(Abu, H. & Maher, M)
As a result children who received adequate parental concern were found to be much more confident in their academic desires and achievements than those who could not get the right amount of parental concern.

The individual involvement of mothers and fathers also plays a vital role in the behavioral development of a child. Students from one-parent household were observed to show less positive attitude towards schools and studies as compared to students from two-parent households. One study aimed at investigating parental concern showed that despite mothers’ sincere endeavors, the role of fathers could not be ignored and both served as an important foundation for the future progress of the child. This can be proved from the following fact:
According to a recent report from the National Center for Educational Statistics (1997), compared to their counterparts, children with involved fathers are more likely to have participated in educational activities with their parents (e.g., to have visited a museum or a historical site with their parents in the past month), and are more likely to have access to multiple types of resources at home as well (as measured by the proportion of parents who belong to community or professional organizations, or regularly volunteer in the community). (Flouri, E. And Buchanan, A, Pg.142)
Also, the parental involvement has been discussed and implemented in terms of interventions or prevention programs, which are nothing but safety measures taken to assure healthy and perfect upbringing of the child. The study uses school-based and home-only intervention programs to find out the extent of intellectual capabilities found in children from different family backgrounds. The success of one school-based interventions can be proved from the following fact, which was a part of “Education Service Improvement Plan 2001-2005” of Edinburgh:
----The Scottish Executive Discipline Task Force, which studied the causes of poor behavior among pupils in schools produced a report of 'Better Behavior - Better Learning' in June 2001. The report included 36 recommendations for action, which were then turned into an Action Plan in 2002. Many of these have implications for the Education Authority. (Craig Millar Instep Project)
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